Thoughts on Homemaking

Being domestic is hard.


The home I grew up in was very small for the family that it contained. It prepared me well to live in small spaces as a newlywed and as a Southern Californian. It did not prepare me well for maintaining and keeping a clean and orderly home.

I grew up in a constant state of chaos where very few things had their own place where they actually "belonged". We cleaned up when we had company, and put things where they would fit at the time. This was no one's fault. It is the reality of living in a home you are remodeling yourself in your spare time. Somethings never seem to get done, somethings disappear never to be seen again, and basic chores are much more challenging.
 
I may have brought that laissez- faire attitude towards housework with me when I married. It did not become really apparent until I moved here. When we lived in Utah I worked and went to school, so did my husband. We were happy if the bed got made and the clothes we wore were clean. We were not slobs, we just did not have the time or the effort to do much more than the basics of housework. As I have adjusted to being unemployed I have noticed what a terrible housekeeper I have been all these years.

I have the good fortune of associating with other women who I have been able to glean knowledge from. These women put the home in homemaking. They are well established mothers and housekeepers who take great pride in the work they do within the walls of their own homes. They make their own bread, clean with vinegar and baking soda, budget every dollar as carefully as possible and they have weekly meal plans. They craft amazing things from household items and their homes are comfortable and clean. I began to realize that our home was different as I started visiting teaching.

This is one of the many reasons that I love Relief Society, it is a place to learn from other women. So I started asking for tips, observing others, and I joined Pinterest which all the ladies in the ward were familiar with.

As I was talking with my friend Melissa (What are the chances I'd befriend another Melissa, right?) It dawned on me that homemaking was my new job. I had all power within the walls of my own home. I did not have to live in chaos anymore.All these years, I had felt some degree of powerlessness over my surroundings . She shared a quote from the Ensign about the importance of the home and the work done within it's walls.It touched me deeply. I could lay my own foundation, the foundation to the new life. It was very empowering and inspiring.

(Melissa is the kind of Melissa I hope to grow into someday. She is master and commander of her household. Things run efficiently and smoothly. She bakes, budgets, and mothers in a way that I had not been exposed to before. She is a inspiration to me and I hope to be more like her. She is a quiet woman of great faith who is a talented wife and mother. She understands how to nurture others, a skill that I greatly admire. I have a lot of respect for her and feel lucky to have met her.)

One morning I awoke with a desire to accomplish something. So, I cleaned off my dresser and made the bed. The clean side of the room only highlighted the messy side (Andy's side) so I started working on that too. Little by little I started taking charge of the house room by room, becoming more encouraged with each completed project. As I cleaned and sorted I had time to ponder where I have been and where I want to go.

It seems that I came to California for Life Detox. I had so much poison and hurt in my body and soul. I didn't realize the danger I was in at the time. I see now that things could not have continued that way much longer. I was burning out, losing myself in my grief and the negativity that surrounded me.

While here I have been flushing and stripping away all my bad habits, healing my body and spirit, and getting rid of the things that have been holding me back.  Just as I sorted my boxes and put things in their place in my home, so too have I been able to do so with my life and my life experiences.

 I will always be grateful to my Heavenly Father for this season in my life. I have had a chance to serve and learn from others and I am constantly being blessed with opportunities to better myself and try new things. The Lord has been mindful of me and my house. I am now fully awake. I feel like my life has balance for the first time in years.

I write this post from the comfort of my completely clean and organized Southern California condo. Everything has a place and everything is in it's place for the first time in my adult life. It feels good.

I wonder what I will do next?

Baking, Budgeting, Homemaking, the sky is the limit. It all seems possible from where I sit.